Have you ever found yourself frustrated, triggered, defeated, and doubting whether you made a mistake choosing your intimate partner? Perhaps wondering if you would have been better off alone or choosing a different partner? This is actually quite common, especially when our relationship is transitioning into a new phase BUT…
The truth is that ⚡️entertaining the “what-if” scenarios robs you of the potent opportunity to grow, heal, and transform through your intimate union.
Here, I am going to share with you why your intimate partner is your greatest teacher and healer, NO MATTER WHAT! I know that some of you might read this and immediately think of abusive partners and wonder how this could be true! I hear you and I still believe my original statement to be true! Here is why:
💎 Embrace Discomfort: There is no path to growth and transformation without challenges; every chapter of our growth and healing journey is perfectly orchestrated with conditions and characters that fuel our desires and visions for change. When we resist what is, we miss out on the insights, opportunities, and gifts hidden in our discomfort. The sooner you let go of projection and blaming, the faster you’ll find your way to love.
Sufism teaches us that there are 3 ways to struggle: 👉🏼 Struggle with Self, Struggle with Others, and Struggle with Circumstances. When we are not spiritually developed, we struggle with others, this is the most fruitless struggle because we can rarely if ever change others, some choose to struggle with circumstances and although sometimes they manage to find relief, the circumstances inevitably shift and we continue to effort to change what is, but the spiritually wise and developed soul chooses the Struggle with Self, this is often the hardest path but our gains here are lasting and give birth to a new dimension of our soul journey.
💎 Growth Curriculum: You can’t be busy collecting evidence to prove your point and defend your case with your partner while also leaning into your growth process. The truth is that your relationship is YOUR GROWTH CURRICULUM. You get to choose WHO you grow and heal with but not WHAT comes up to heal. So unless you’ve already done the work to get REAL CLEAR about your curriculum, jumping ship is only going to reset the clock on your journey to soul-nourishing love.
With that said, if your partner lacks self-awareness, is unwilling to work on the relationship and themselves, or is otherwise abusive in any shape or form, then that dynamic does not serve either of your growth journeys. This is a sign that at 👉🏼 your current curriculum is about WHY you chose that relationship in the first place: What did you ignore, deny, or minimize? Where did you negotiate your own intuition? And why did you stay?
💎 Get Real: It is my experience and opinion that most relationships ARE WORKABLE! Many of us, especially women, have been raised with unrealistic models of what true intimacy is about. A big chunk of the work in relationships is about DISMANTLING THE FALSEHOODS we’ve been conditioned to believe is love. Until we get crystal clear about our deeply rooted needs for safety, emotional triggers, desires in intimacy, and entitlements parading as needs, we can not understand our growth curriculum.
⚡️Love isn’t about what you GET in a partnership but how you GROW IN CONSCIOUS UNION.⚡️
💎 Master Your Triggers: Your triggers have NOTHING TO DO with your partner choice. Our intimate partnership is often our closest bond and source of Co-Regulation. As we relax and settle into a partnership, our self-protection masks drop and the underlying wounds, often rooted in inadequate co-regulation in early childhood, surface.
If we have self-awareness and have developed Relational Mastery, our relationship becomes a container for healing, if we have not cultivated these skill sets, it becomes a battleground as our triggers wreak havoc and sabotage love. When we unconsciously react from a wounded place without accountability, we trigger the protective parts of our partner and then, well… it’s a war of egos which results in both parties losing because if one of you walks away a winner, in reality YOU BOTH LOST.
Unfortunately, most of us did not grow up with ideal models or otherwise weren’t taught the essential skills to support us during this natural phase of our relationship. This is why one of the core focuses of my Harmonious Hearts Methodology is To 🦋Masterfully Navigate Conflict to Connection through Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation Strategies.
💞 LOVE is…
… an invitation to deepening, vulnerability, self-study, interdependency, and growth.
… an opportunity to create an intentional container where we feel safely held in our shadow and light alike.
… a PRACTICE. A practice in keeping our hearts open, noticing and communicating when we’re contracting and finding excuses to close our hearts.
… COURAGE. The courage to stay open and vulnerable. The courage to show up when it feels impossible.
… a SPIRITUAL PRACTICE. A communion with self, the beloved, and Spirit. It is a commitment to stay, study, heal, grow, and thrive together.
As you see, your partner IS your teacher and healer! In fact, intimate relationships are one of the most effective vehicles for 🦋ACCELERATED SOUL TRANSFORMATION, HEALING, and GROWTH!
💫 If what I share here resonated with you would like to develop and deepen your mastery, grace, and transformation through conscious union, I invite you to apply for a 🌟FREE HARMONIOUS HEARTS DISCOVERY SESSION with me to explore the possibilities.
I employ a multitude of modalities, including facilitated 🍄 psychedelic & empathogenic experiences to guide you to access the potency and medicine of your open heart and harmonious nervous system. Apply for a consultation to explore the possibilities together.
