Inspired reflections on “Rise Above” by Scott Barry Kaufman
I just finished listening to “Rise Above: Overcome a Victim Mindset, Empower Yourself, and Realize Your Full Potential” by Scott Barry Kaufman—and I couldn’t recommend it more. It’s a timely, compassionate, and clear-eyed exploration of how we navigate pain and power in a world that is desperately trying to heal.
This book inspired me to reflect on my own journey—both as a trauma-trained therapist and a trauma survivor—and to share what I’ve learned in the hope that it offers some light on your own path.
Trauma Isn’t Just Personal—It’s Cultural
There is no denying that trauma shapes our health, our relationships, and our sense of possibility. Research on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) shows clear links between trauma and chronic illness, addiction, and even premature death. The science is clear: unresolved trauma can derail our lives. And yet, we must be equally cautious about how we relate to the narrative of trauma itself.
In 2020, as the world reeled from the pandemic and awakened to deeper social justice reckonings, I was hopeful to see trauma finally entering mainstream conversations. For a while, it felt like we were on the brink of a collective shift—toward compassion, healing, and accountability.
But soon, I noticed a subtle and concerning trend—both in my practice and in broader culture.
Validation Without Empowerment is Not Healing
I watched as every conflict, boundary rupture, or disappointment began to be labeled “toxic” or “traumatizing.” The word trauma became shorthand for discomfort. Personal accountability was sometimes replaced with emotional entitlement. “Healing” spaces began to center suffering without always guiding people toward transcendence.
Of course, validation is essential. People need to feel seen, heard, and held in their pain. But healing also requires movement. I found myself increasingly wrestling with the tension between validating my clients’ suffering and helping them transcend it.
It wasn’t just professional. During the Woman, Life, Freedom uprising in Iran—my homeland—I found myself spiraling in pain and heartbreak. The silence from my immediate community hurt deeply. I felt abandoned, unseen, and locked in a loop of victim consciousness.
And then, three beloved friends in my life became the mirrors I needed. Through their presence, kindness, and unwavering m oral clarity, they helped me remember who I truly was. Their love reminded me that we cannot heal in isolation. We need one another.
Kindness Is the Most Important Medicine
In the months that followed, I began to reflect more deeply: Had I been seduced—like so many others—by the glorification of victimhood? I may never know. But what matters more is the inquiry itself.
What I’ve come to believe is this: Kindness is the most essential medicine of our time. And sometimes difficult to practice.
Why? Because true kindness requires us to hold people in their pain while also holding a vision of their wholeness. To honor their wounds without reducing them to those wounds. To offer empathy while also inviting growth.
The Identity Crisis Within Trauma
One of the most overlooked consequences of trauma is what I call the crisis of identity. Trauma fractures the image we once held of ourselves, others, and the world. It disrupts our orientation—our sense of “who I am.”
This is why much of my work with clients focuses on identity reconstruction—not as a return to who they were before the trauma, but as a reimagining of who they can become. We don’t piece together a broken self. We integrate the wisdom of the past to create someone new: more compassionate, more resilient, more whole.
“It is neither the trauma nor surviving it that defines us. It is the process of reconnecting with our wholeness—cracking open to the beauty of life, reclaiming joy, and deepening compassion—that brings us home to ourselves.”
My Promise as a Guide
Whether in my personal life or professional practice, I hold this same vision: that every person—regardless of what they’ve endured—is capable of healing, expansion, and transformation.
“Healing isn’t an event. It’s a journey that unfolds in our day-to-day lives, in the space between breaths, and in the choices we make to meet the moment with courage—or retreat into old coping patterns.”
Scott Barry Kaufman masterfully explores these themes in Rise Above. I encourage you to read or listen to the book with an open heart and a curious mind.
You’re Not Alone on This Journey
If you find yourself ruminating, caught in mental loops, overwhelmed by anger or shame, or stuck in the past—you are not broken. And you do not have to do this alone.
There are effective tools. There is community. There is support. And I would be honored to walk with you.
✨ Apply for a Free Consultation and let’s explore what healing could look like—for you.
